Tuesday, May 02, 2006

No Deal To Warped Image Of What A Woman Should Be

The models on NBC's "Deal Or No Deal" are not what a woman must be

Have you seen the latest television game show on NBC called "Deal Or No Deal?" The host of the show is that goofball actor-turned-game-show-star Howie Mandel (yes, the same Howie Mandel you know and love except now he's bald!) and the contestants have a chance to win $1,000,000 if they choose a lucky case among 26 cases.

Of course, nobody ever wins the million bucks, but it's kinda fun to watch the people get excited about the prospect of winning even if it is only a simple game of chance with no skill involved at all. Somehow I don't see this show lasting more than a season or two because frankly it'll get boring very quickly. Anywho...

Something has been bugging me about this show ever since I first started watching it with my wife. At the beginning of the show, Howie comes out on stage, makes a few introductory remarks and then announces that it is time for his "favorite part of the show."

Howie then exclaims in a coy voice, "Ladies...."

That's when the "Deal Or No Deal" theme music begins playing as 26 models march in lockstep onstage with their respective case in hand. Predictably, there are cat calls and howling from the men in the audience as millions of men drool over themselves at home watching these women prance across their television sets.

Now, don't get me wrong, they are very beautiful women indeed, but what kind of message are we sending young girls and even adult women regarding what a woman should be by parading perfect models like this into our living rooms? Especially those women and girls who struggle with their weight, how can they ever feel like they are beautiful enough if our society constantly keeps shoving this impossible image to attain in their face all the time?

An anonymous reader recently sent me an e-mail that deals with this subject matter better than I could ever explain. She practically poured out her heart and soul to me about what she thinks of herself as an obese woman. To protect her privacy, I will not share with you the horrid details of what she wrote, but suffice it to say it would just break your heart.

If I could sum up her e-mail in one poignant question, then this is what it would be:

"How can I ever feel like a woman after being fat?"

Has any other woman felt this way, too? If you have been overweight or obese and feel like you are less of a woman because of it, let me say just a few things to you about that.

First of all, being a woman is more than just having a thin body with curves in the right places and a cute face. Those are all characteristics of certain women in this world, but they do not define what a woman is.

A real woman is a beautiful creation of God that plays a tremendous role in humankind.

Here are just a few of those things that only a woman can do:

Only a woman can give birth.
Only a woman can be a mother.
Only a woman can be daddy's little girl.
Only a woman can wear perfume and put on makeup.
Only a woman can be a bride.
Only a woman can make a man better.
Only a woman can show a love like no other.
Only a woman can make such an influence.

I think about the special women closest to me in my life: my mother, my grandmother, my sister, and my wife. While none of them would ever be considered the prettiest or smartest women in the world, I wouldn't change a thing about any of them. The fact is they are who they are because that's exactly who God meant for them to be. Nobody can ever take away those one-of-a-kind qualities that encompass everything about each of them.

Whether you have struggled with your weight or have some other self-image issues you are dealing with, don't ever think you are not worthy of being a woman. You are a very special person with a real purpose and a meaning in this life. While you may never hear those exact words from anyone in particular in your life, I want you to hear them from me.

Although I may be a stranger to you, I know for a fact that the good Lord doesn't make mistakes and you are here in this world as a woman for some specific reason. NEVER let go of the knowledge that you matter. YOU DO MATTER! Who cares if you weight 100, 200 or 300 pounds, let me tell you -- YOU MATTER! You ARE a woman and nobody can ever take that away from you! Celebrate the gift of your womanhood and don't ever let your weight or anything else rob you of that joy.

The next time you see those ladies on "Deal Or No Deal," just remember that they do not necessarily represent all of womankind or what being a female is all about. You are just as beautiful and perfect as they are and don't you ever forget it!


Blogger Eight Lives said...

Hi! i'm Unicel from Philippines. At late teens and suffering from a disease...A disease caused by the media, putting up skinny girls on tv and magazines that appears so perfect, resulting to a thinking that I'm the ugliest person currently existing. haha! actually i'm serious... no matter what comfort others try to tell me, or what i tell myself, it's so difficult to change how i think of myself already. But what you said, all of it, sinked in! It's just nice to know that someone thinks that way of women...Thank you for the words of encouragement you've posted for all womanhood to read, it has positively affected me a great deal! ^_^

5/03/2006 1:52 AM  
Blogger Jimmy Moore said...

Hey Unicel,

You are a beautiful woman and nobody can ever take that away from you. Nothing is more delightful than knowing that God made you exactly the way He wanted you to be so he could cherish and admire his masterpiece. You are His masterpiece and NEVER forget it!

God bless you and thanks for reading!


5/03/2006 8:04 AM  
Blogger Shayne said...

Jimmy - THANK YOU for this post.

The timing is perfect - and I have linked the Low Carb Scoop BBS to come read it. Many of those ladies will be grateful for your comments as well.

5/03/2006 12:58 PM  
Blogger girliefriend said...

Once again you bring light to one of the serious problems our society creates. We as women are told we must live up to some unrealistic standards to be considered beautiful, which is so untrue. We are ALL beautiful in our own right. Thanks, as always Jimmy, for your insight, and thanks to Shayne too, for linking us over on

5/03/2006 1:11 PM  
Blogger Lowcarb_dave said...

This show is very popular here in Australia. But I don't think there is the emphasis on the trashy women.

In ours the audience holds the cases, and they guess what is in the case when the contestant picks them.

What gets me about that picture. The lady holding up number 13.

What's with the 'Big Hair' in America I always see!


But great post Jim!!

5/03/2006 7:51 PM  
Blogger Science4u1959 said...

That was a beautiful post, Jimmy, and very true indeed. Men should never forget that:

a) What society defines as "beauty" is only skindeep;
b) Real beauty comes from the inside.

To be honest: Personally I don't even consider women that are labeled by society as "beautiful" (i.e. models) really attractive. Photography is one of my many hobbies. Let me assure you, from experience, that there is nothing attractive to a underfed model that faints every 30 minutes from malnutrition!

A nice (British?) movie to illustrate and underscore these and the other points you raised is titled "The Calender Girls". Great movie and touching: all women (and men!) should watch it.

5/03/2006 10:05 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

All of what has been said is beautiful and true, but let's not forget one thing from the pragmatist's side of the fence:

All models, male or female, are genetic anomalies. They are the EXCEPTION not the RULE. WE real women are the real deal, not some of the supposed "lucky few" that get genes that make them look, quite frankly, scary in real life. I speak from experience. One of my hobbies is celebrity guest handling for conventions where they make guest appearances. These people do NOT look normal in real life.

So the next time you are down on yourself for not being them, remember that they are the result of either:

A. Abnormal genes, like any other scientific "freak"


B. A plastic surgeon's imagination and knife

and then ask yourself if you really want to be THAT different or do you want to be YOU, the norm?


P.S.: I never felt better when, at a healthy size 16 (thanks to low carbing; I was a 20), a con goer said to me, "I know I'm here to see her [my guest], but I just wanted you to know that you are far prettier than her and that surprises me since she's an ex-Victoria's Secret model."

You see, my guest was nice and all, but she looked nothing like her pictures because that was all wardrobe, tape, makeup, and lighting. Talk about a major ego boost for me. But more importantly, kudos goes out to that majorly honest guy. Kudos to him for recognizing real, not manufactured, beauty. So chin up, ladies (no matter how many you might have, my lovelies), men will eventually wake up and with them will come the awakening of society!

5/03/2006 11:59 PM  
Blogger Leanna said...

I think that once people overcome the images pushed by the media, they'll be stronger, and it'll be harder to bring them down.

Also, men are affected by seeing "perfect" men. I had a friend who stopped eating, asking me if I thought it'd be cool if he "looked real skinny, like those models in magazines." I told him no, that he should eat, and offered to buy him anything he wanted, but he declined. We were all worried about him, especially after he passed out in class.

Another way this manifests is when guys with low self-esteem date women with high self-esteem. Because they feel like they're not perfect, and because they feel like they can't do anything, but they still want to be macho, they will try to insult or control their girlfriend or wife in an attempt to gain back their "manliness." I had this happen, where he told me to stop lifting weights. I just told him to hit the gym with me. Needless to say, I kicked that pansy to the curb.

3/01/2007 3:05 PM  
Blogger Leanna said...

Oh, and since you're approving these, can you put these two posts together? I just wanted to respond to what Melanie said. She said that you're either a genetic "freak" or fake to be thin. While it's great that she's comfortable with her size, she shouldn't insult other women. Calling them freaks is uncalled for and just plain mean. Plus, she forgot about the women that workout. Yes, believe it or not, people can change their bodies, and they can do it healthily. I highly recommend the magazine Oxygen to Ms. Melanie, a women's fitness magazine that fills its pages and articles with FIT women, not SKINNY women.

But if a woman wants to be skinny and she goes for it in a healthy manner, so be it. Don't call her a genetic freak or poo-poo her hard work by saying she just went to a plastic surgeon. In a way, that's worse than insulting someone for being fat because it doesn't take hard work to overeat and not exercise.

3/01/2007 3:11 PM  

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