Prayers Needed For My Obesity-Battling Brother Kevin, Given One Year To Live
Are these the final days of my brother Kevin's life?
My heart is very heavy and saddened today with even more grim news about my only full-blooded brother named Kevin. I just blogged about him two weeks ago with an update on his weight and health, but I received some news this week that doesn't sound good at all. The doctors have basically given Kevin one year to live. His morbid obesity, despite his recent efforts to bring it under control, has become too much of a burden on his struggling heart and now it's only a matter of time.
For those readers who haven't heard about the history behind my brother Kevin's before, he suffered three straight heart attacks at the age of 32 back in 1999 that nearly killed him primarily from his poor eating habits which ballooned him into morbid obesity. He and I both had struggled with this most of our lives and it was this event that really got me to thinking about my own health and led me to make the necessary changes in my life to prevent this from happening to me, too. Kevin's heart function got down to 15% and he was told to lose weight or die before the age of 40.
Here are some blog posts about Kevin I have previously written:
"My Brother's Morbid Obesity Is Killing Him"
"Kevin's Obesity Saga Hits Too Close To Home"
"So Bad News Really Does Come In Threes"
"Surprising Kevin Perhaps For The Last Time"
"Health Update On Kevin Moore"
"Kevin Finally Getting Serious About His Morbid Obesity"
"Morbid Obesity, Health Problems Continue For Kevin"
Well, today Kevin is 40 (he will turn 41 on August 22nd if he survives that long) and still weighs upwards of 350 or so pounds. He's been on and off various diets the past few years, including stints on low-carb and most recently his cardiologist's highly-recommended low-fat, low-salt, low-cholesterol, and HIGH-CARB diet. UGH! It's disappointing and frustrating to see my own brother, who also has Type 2 diabetes, doing this to himself when his health is already teetering on the brink of disaster. The way he's currently eating, it's a death trap just waiting to snatch him from us.
The fragility of Kevin's health was made abundantly apparent just two weeks ago when he had to rush himself to the hospital with major chest pains. I was just on the phone with him two hours before this happened and we were joking about how he lived halfway between two hospitals in case something ever happened. It did and this was no laughing matter. The doctors put THREE stints in his heart to open up the only remaining passageway that was unblocked providing blood to this most vital organ of them all. Three of his arteries are COMPLETELY clogged up and the other one is almost all the way blocked. It didn't look good at the time and we knew something like this could happen again at any moment.
And it did not sooner than we thought.
Kevin went home after a few days in the hospital and then he had to call an ambulance to come get him soon thereafter because he couldn't breathe and his heart felt like it was about to explode. The stints hadn't worked and they rushed him into the critical care unit to attempt yet another stint. This time, the doctor was very concerned that the blockage is just too severe and has now given Kevin less than a year to live unless something miraculous happens with his arteries. They're so clogged up now that there is really nothing the medical experts can do for him. He's just run out of time and the clock is ticking on his life.
Now, I truly believe in the great healing power of Jesus Christ to do virtually anything--including the impossible--because I've seen it time and time again in my lifetime. But at the same time I am pragmatic about things like this that happen in life too knowing that this day would be coming sooner rather than later most likely. Kevin has already lived even longer than the doctors had originally expected him to despite his failure to lose the weight as he was told to. Even still, coming to grips with the fact that my brother may not be with us much longer is a devastating blow to me and my family. But I'm ready for it whenever God wills it to take place--whether that's years, months, weeks, or even days.
I've spoken with both my mom and my dad about this and they are in the same mindset as I am. This was inevitable and we're ready for it when it does happen. I can't imagine what it's like for them to see one of their own children near his deathbed at such an early age. The pain that comes with losing a child especially in a way that was clearly preventable many years ago cannot be adequately measured. It's gonna be a sad day when Kevin leaves this world and I hope that God spares him just a little longer so we will have the chance to spend just a few more moments with him. He's truly a good man who deserves so much better than the hand life dealt him.
Kevin called me yesterday and wanted to talk to his "little bro" as he calls me. He said he's going home from the hospital today and he can't wait to get out of there. I told him how much I loved him and was praying for him through this experience. You could almost sense that he knows the end is near and it's an emotional time for all of us right now. We cherish your thoughts and prayers and offer our sincerest THANKS to all the readers at the "Livin' La Vida Low-Carb" blog for staying interested in how Kevin is doing. Your notes of care and compassion have been an incredible source of encouragement to me over the past few years, so THANK YOU for your loving support.
I'll let you know if anything else changes for the better or for the worse. In the meantime, if you could share this prayer request with your church group, we'd certainly appreciate it. When the good Lord decides to take Kevin home, I pray even now that we can find peace in the midst of the pain that will come. He's still here with us and I'm gonna make the most of every moment I have left with Kevin.
6-26-08 UPDATE: I just got a call from my mom today. She said my brother Kevin went home from the hospital on Tuesday and then went back to the doctor today to see how he's doing. The physician said Kevin needs to get his affairs in order and hospice has been called in. There's nothing more they can do for him at this point.
When my half-sister Beverly who Kevin and I grew up with heard about this, she lost it. Mom was upset as I was talking to her, but pretty steady considering the gravity of this. She said it could be days or he could live as much as a few more months or a year. But it looks like Kevin's been on borrowed time for a while according to his doctor.
His physician noted that the event last week that put him in the hospital should have been the end of Kevin's life, but he's been given a little extra time for which I am thankful. I asked my mom if Christine and I need to come down to Florida to spend Kevin's last days together with him and she didn't think that was necessary since it could be months before he's gone. We have a planned trip to Durham, NC and a one-day stint in New York City coming up the week after the 4th of July and will likely drive down to Pensacola, Florida to be with Kevin and basically say goodbye.
THANK YOU for your continued prayers.
Labels: brother, death, health, Jimmy Moore, Kevin, morbid obesity, weight loss
38 Comments:
I'm so very sorry to hear this Jimmy. I had hoped your last report meant that things were looking up for Kevin. We will be diligently praying for God's Will and His strength you carry you all through, whatever happens. His Grace is sufficient.
Love you all.
My heart goes out to everyone in your family. Jimmy, I know you probably know I lost a brother in 2007, so I know firsthand how hard that is to go through. We knew my brother's life and days were numbered, but even knowing doesn't make it easier to take. The hardest for me was watching my parents grieve for a child. That's what started my path to better health this time. I never wanted my parents to have to bury a child again, at least due to something called Obesity. The preventable disease, someday's I wonder. Obesity is not something I wanted listed as my cause of death. I can't tell you how sorry I am that Kevin seemingly can't find the strength within to pull himself forward to better health. He's the only one that can, you know that. I know your heart aches for him. We always tell each other we love one another, because we know life can be gone in a second. God's timetable is in place and no one else's, but the life and how we live those days is up to each of us. I know this was difficult news to share, but we thank you for keeping us informed. Kevin is in our prayers, as well as the rest of your family. Keep thinking positvely, maybe good karma will come from it.
Jimmy, I will definitely add Kevin and your to my prayer list, that God give you strength to deal with whatever His will is in this matter.
Mary
I have so much I want to say but no words can express all my thoughts and feelings for you and your family. So I'm just going to pray for you and hope that your faith can carry you though this difficult time and you can spend as much time together as a family as possible.
I am so incredibly sorry for Kevin, you, and your entire family.
You are so brave for sharing this ordeal with the world, and I do believe you are saving lives because of it.
All my thoughts with you.
- Shannon
You, your brother, and your family are in my prayers. I have also put him on our prayer list at church. Tomorrow, I'll send his name to everyone at work and they will put him on their prayer lists.
Jimmy,
I'm sorry for the pain and heartache that your family is going through.
I wish it were not so.
Harry
((((((hugs for everyone)))))
You will all be in my thoughts and prayers
Z.
Jimmy:
I think it might be better not to talk about Kevin as if it is a certainty that he will die soon.
I know that he, and you, and your family, are all very distressed and worried. Of course you all are.
You love Kevin. :)
I wonder (I wonder!) if it might be a good idea for Kevin to see a psychotherapist?? Kevin's behavior seems suicidal, in a very real way.
It is one thing to lose weight, but that weight loss can be truly enhanced by helping the mind -- thoughts, feelings, ambivalences around weight.
Also, what do you think of Kevin seeing someone who specializes in
Eating Disorders? There could be a diagnosis of Binge Eating Disorder-??
It is one thing to be on a Low-Carb Diet, but for some people, they need even more help. I am one of those people. I eat Low-Carb because it truly helps me from bingeing. And I also see a therapist who specializes in Eating Disorders.
Hold on to Hope for Kevin!
Jimmy,
I pray to God that Kevin will be spared. I know too well how compulsive overeating can affect you; in its own mysterious way it is like alcholism and other addictions.
Hope Kevin can stay positive and optimistic about the life ahead of him. The will to live can always beat the odds.
I send prayer and love to Kevin.
From Romans 5:1,2
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God."
God be with you and your family during the time you still have here with Kevin, Jimmy.
You don't want to hear it and he doesn't want to hear it but my diet will work for him!
Your post about your dear brother, Kevin, made me cry. It's so tragic. I'm sorry for you all, your sweet mom and the rest of the family. This doesn't seem fair to any of you, let alone your poor brother who has been suffering so much for so many years. It is not easy to lose weight and some people find it way way harder than others. Poor Kevin! I also blame the doctors for putting him on a diet that is useless for his particular health problems. When will some doctors wake up and start thinking independently?
My prayers are with you all. I will see if I can get Kevin's name in for prayer at my friend's church in Illinois, U.S.A. where they have a prayer basket with names in it. They regularly pray for people and answers to prayer have come. I will also ask several of my friends to pray, that way starting a small prayer chain. I haven't really heard our church praying for anyone other than church members and missionaries, so I'm not sure...
No matter what happens, you know God will always be with you and Kevin for that matter. Your love for your brother is obvious. May God bless you both as you have precious moments together.
I am so sorry to hear this. I'll be praying for Kevin and your family.
Oh Jimmy, I'm so sorry for you and for your whole family!! 41 is too young to leave this world!! It sounds like you and your parents have a very faithful attitude toward Kevin's fate. I will pray for him and for some miraculous intervention. Stay strong Jimmy - God's will be done.
Best,
Angie
Jimmy,
My heart goes out to you, your brother, and your whole family. We'll definitely be praying for him. We don't know the will of God in this, but I'm praying that He will rebuild your brother's arteries and, in His mercy, give him another chance to be a good steward of his body. We know that He is certainly a God of second (and third and fourth and . . .) chances.
You have committed to stand with us in our low-carb lifestyle, and we will stand with you in prayer during this time. May you and your family feel the comforting presence of God with you in these weeks and months, and may you experience the peace of Christ that transcends understanding.
Jimmy, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope and pray that something will turn around for him. Maybe Doug Kaufman could offer him some help. I hope things turn out differently for him. Hearing Kevin's story makes me more motivated to stick with my low-carb eating for today. God Bless all of you.
I'm not a believer in God, but I do believe in science and medicine. Here's to hoping he can get this thing turned around.
Jimmy,
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. All of your family will be in my prayers. It must be so terribly frustrating to know that this could have been prevented if only he had listened to his "little bro" when you first started to tell him about livin la vida low carb. I know, because I have a friend who listens to everyone except me, when it comes to diet, exercise and prescription drugs. I am putting you and Kevin on a wonderful, very widely circulated prayer list. Let's all hope for a Divine miracle from our glorious Lord!
Cathie
I know how you and your parents must feel. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. I have son who is about the same weight as your brother. He also has Type 2 diabetes and the accompanying physical and medical issues. Like you, my husband, his dad, lost weight and improved his health dramatically on low carb - we had hoped that the example his dad set would make a difference. It didn't. His response was that he didn't even notice that dad lost all that weight. :(
It's extremely emotional to watch your loved one, especially when it's your own son, use an acceptable method for committing suicide -- food.
Please know that you will all be in our prayers for strength during this difficult time in your family's lives. May your brother's health improve and may he finally take responsibility for his health.
Love,
Mary
I will say a prayer for you and Kevin, but at some point it is up to Kevin.
Does he want to live? You have done your best as you have mentioned b4, but for Kevin to get better and live, Kevin will need to grow up and face this or die.
It is that simple!
I feel for you Jimmy, but it is his life, his decision.
God Bless
Jimmy,
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this time. May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
Love,
Karly
Jimmy, you and your family are in our prayers here.
(((HUGS)))
I'm so sorry - I (and probably most low-carbers) know how it is to watch someone's health decay because they follow the diet that "experts" recommend. It's so sad and so frustrating.
Jimmy, Kevin and Family. I am very sad with you and totally believe in
God and the power He has to help you in this time and any time to come, no matter what the outcome.
We are however still all alive and who knows what tomorrow brings for any one of us ? I have heard of totally healthy people who pass away for no apparent reason suddenly and also of people with very very serious severe problems who made it and outlived the 'healthy'.
I pray for peace that passes all understanding and wisdom for you all and especially as much possible TIME that you might enjoy, laugh and share happy moments together.
I would like to give some borrowed advice to Kevin from a true personal friend of mine who was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors gave him 4 months to live. They had to cut away 65% of his tummy for him to stay alive for those 4 months or any part of it. I am happy to say that that was more than 12 years ago. His advice that I would like to share with you is :
Get the BEST POSSIBLE medical treatment you can get.
and
Live life as if you are going to live another 100 years - make those wonderful plans you have, go on that vacation if you can, dream that dream and enjoy each second of it!!
All of the best guys !
I posted some things for Kevin, I don't know if he can come see them or not.
I am so sorry to hear this. All my thoughts are with your brother, you and your family.
Zyarah (couldn't seem to get signed on except as anonymous
Would an "obesity hospital" with long term stay be an option? Making a pitstop during life in order to SAVE one's life seems reasonable to me.
This is the first time I've ever read this blog, so I don't really know you. But I understand how much it hurts to see a brother slipping away.
I will surely add you all to my prayers. I hope you all will find the peace in your hearts that only God himself can give us. Don't give up!
/Tina from Sweden
My prayers are with you. It is infuriating that low fat has become dogma, even though it is not right for everyone, especially most type 2 diabetics.
God can work miracles, but we have to let His will be done. May God confort all of you. Romans 5:1 - 5.
I agree with the comment upthread about speaking with an eating disorder psychiatrist or an eating disorder clinic. He may in fact qualify for inpatient treatment, since his eating behavior seems to be a physical danger to himself.
Also, I would not recommend he check out Overeaters Anonymous or any of the 12-step programs, which encourage learned helplessness over taking action.
Something like Rational Recovery or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy might make more sense.
I wish both of you the best of luck.
Jonathan
Jimmy... I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. Watching a loved one slowly die is like watching a car accident in slow motion.
I was watching a show on the BBC last night that was touting a study involving men with ED and coronary blockage problems being treated with 4 raw garlic cloves per day. Apparently, it worked wonders and was the only thing they changed in their diet. Trick was, the garlic had to be sliced or crushed prior to ingesting in order for the active ingredient to be released. These men put the garlic on the food they normally consumed i.e. sandwiches, steaks, etc.
Might be worth a try, couldn't hurt at this point. (One man had to change his high blood pressure meds before this garlic treatment could be effective).
Jimmy, just wondering...can your brother not have bypass surgery to help correct his problems in the short-term, allowing him the time he will need to get his health back on track?
At this point, he is too far gone. It's just too little too late for him.
Jimmy, I am very, very sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I feel sorry for Kevin as well but in the final analysis, this outcome was decided by him and no one else. You tried your best, Jimmy. You couldn't do any more for him. Kevin had to want to live and be healthy and no amount of browbeating by you or his doctors or family can change this.
Jimmy,
I am very saddened to hear about the news on your brother.
God Bless
Scott
Jimmy,
My heart just aches as I read this. I am so sorry. No matter how you resolve yourself to your brothers self-destruction, it will be hard and feel unreal.
My mother basically destroyed herself by drinking. She fell in 2006, breaking her ankle. When I got her to the hospital, her system was wacked out, she was admitted to ICU and went through detox for 10+ days. She was SO intoxicated that they could not repair her broken ankle and could not admister any pain meds. After 3 months of being in and out of the hospital, she began drinking again (secretely). When confronted, she lied and got angry. She passed in March (after two long years of trying to recover from a fall that was caused by her drunkeness). She passed from liver failure-cirrhosis.
I teeter between anger and complete disbelief that we lost her within 2 months of learning of her condition.
It is unfortunate that self-destructive people think that they aren't hurting anyone but themselves. My mother's death is part of what has prompted me to do better. I have 5 kids and they deserve better than this!
Jimmy, you keep plugging away and encouraging others. Those who will wake up, will. Those who do not want to, will not. Who can understand it??
Joy @ lowcarbingjoy.blogspot.com
Oh Jimmy, I don't know how I missed this in your blog. I'm so sorry. I'm praying for healing.
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