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Thursday, December 20, 2007

Our IVF Moment Of Truth Has Arrived: Pregnancy Or Not?

While most people have been building up anticipation for what's gonna happen next Tuesday on Christmas Day for past couple of months, my wife Christine and I have had our sights set on a date a little sooner than that--today, December 20, 2007. After dealing with the sensitive subject of infertility and all the questions that have come with that, we received lots of encouragement from my readers who helped us with our decision whether to choose to do an IVF cycle to try to get pregnant.

In the end, the choice was easy: we had to try at least ONE IVF cycle for peace of mind about this entire issue. Regardless of the outcome, at least we'll never have the "what if?" questions haunting us in the back of our minds. Yes, it's been an expensive journey to take which is why we began the "Beads Of Hope" fundraiser (which is still open for business to anyone interested in donating to our cause). And Christine's amazing willingness to go through all the painful shots to stimulate her follicles on her ovaries and then the subsequent long needles I've been sticking up her hind side for the past two weeks has been awe-inspiring to say the least. The fact she did all that for us to have our baby was one of the greatest acts of love anyone has ever done for me.

When the embryo transfer took place just under two weeks ago, we had high hopes that those two little life forms that were placed inside of Christine would begin growing as a beautiful baby inside of her. But after a blood test at the office of the reproductive endocrinologist today confirmed that Christine is not pregnant, our dreams of having a baby at this time have been dashed.

Are we upset that this thing we've been wanting for over a dozen years didn't happen? Obviously. But we're not so devastated that it's gonna cripple us as a couple or as people. We know and trust in the perfect plan that God has in store for our lives and apparently that does not include children right now. That's not to say it will never happen...just not now.

During this process of going through the steps to overcome our infertility, two outstanding books were there to give us comfort and peace in the midst of this storm. The first one is one I saw in my local Christian bookstore called Inconceivable: Finding Peace in the Midst of Infertility by a woman named Shannon Woodward (interestingly, Christine's maiden name is Woodward!) who suffered 18 years without being able to have a baby. I gave that book to Christine on her birthday on November 11th and she absolutely fell in love with it. Knowing that she was not alone in this really helped Christine deal with the news we received today that much better.

The second book that helped us with this was Tiny Toes: A Couple's Journey Through Infertility, Prematurity, and Depression by Kelly D. Damron. Kelly was quite candid throughout this book talking about her infertility, how it impacted her marriage and relationship to her in-laws, and subsequent issues of depression and even a premature pregnancy. I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy all that she had to go through, but it's a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit that Kelly can tell her story with a happy ending today. She actively helps couples dealing with infertility today and told me about a great resource called RESOLVE.org for people who have been through the struggles of infertility and overcome. WORTH CHECKING OUT!

I've been blessed in my life beyond anything a man could ever ask for--a devoted and faithful wife who loved me even when I allowed my weight to get up to 410 pounds, an incredible 180-pound weight loss in 2004 that radically changed my health and life for the better, and a truly inspirational and caring group of people who grace my blog with their presence each and every day to encourage me in all that I do. What more could a guy ask for in life?

On behalf of Christine and me, let me just say THANK YOU for all the prayers, thoughts, donations, well wishes, and all the rest of the outpouring of love and support you have shown us over these past few months. It has been a difficult journey, but one I would gladly take again for a chance to have our very own baby. And it still may happen at some point, through another IVF or even an adoption, but it'll just have to wait for the time being.

Christine and I will be traveling to west Tennessee this weekend for Christmas to be with my father and his side of the family to help take our minds off of the news we just received. We're gonna be okay because we still have each other as well as thousands of people who are our extended family at our church and right here at "Livin' La Vida Low-Carb." You guys truly are the greatest and keep us going no matter what life throws at us. God bless you all and Merry Christmas!!!

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jimmy,

I know this is a very difficult time for you and Christine. I am so sorry things did not work out for you as all of us had hoped. My thoughts have been and will continue to be with you.

Take care,

DeLynn

12/20/2007 10:36 PM  
Blogger Scale Mistress said...

Jimmy & Christine-

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I know how painful it is to have your hopes dashed but it is obvious you have a strong enough relationship to weather this storm. Take it easy for a while. Enjoy the holidays with your family. Time will give you some perspective and set you on your ultimate path to parenthood.

And yes, RESOLVE is a great organization. They have a wealth of information and helped me a lot in our quest to be parents.

Lisa

12/20/2007 10:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

man..what a downer...I was praying hard for you two!
God must have an amazing blessing in your future. We know not what, we know not when.....but God knows how to bless us better than we can imagine!
Jeremiah 29:11
Burt

12/20/2007 10:57 PM  
Blogger OnlineChristian said...

There are many of us pulling for you two out here in Internet-land! While this may not have worked out like you hoped, there may be many more wonderful things in store for you two in the future!

Believe and trust in the continuing goodness and love of God, and that things will work out somehow for the best, in the end. Even when it doesn't make any sense to us, there is a plan.

If God is for us, who can be against us?

12/21/2007 12:04 AM  
Blogger Gracie said...

Jimmy & Christine,
though I am a new friend, my heart & prayers go to you. God has a plan, and is still in control. His will be done, His peace be upon you both. Remember, we don't know how, where or when, but we do know Who!
Grace

12/21/2007 12:36 AM  
Blogger Valerie Jacobsen said...

http://www.newyorkfertility.com/fertility-treatment-natural-cycle-ivf.htm

Jimmy, that may not work for you guys, but I ran across it by accident today. (I was searching for something else entirely.)

12/22/2007 10:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No one knows the pain of not being able to have a child than the couple going through infertility.

God bless and have a Merry Christmas.

12/23/2007 10:02 PM  
Blogger K said...

Jimmy,

As a former member of the "Stab Your Wife in the Butt Club" I know how crappy it feels when that first cycle doesn't work out. Keep up the good fight - it's not an easy fight for sure, but the rewards are well worth it.

Matthew 17:20

Keep the faith, my brother in syringes.

Debt Daddy

12/24/2007 2:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas,

Jimmy and Christine, miracles do happen every day. I'm praying you guys get one soon.

Shari

12/25/2007 7:42 PM  
Blogger Power of love said...

Its going to happen for you with the will of GOD. Keep trying. Good luck for future. Its gonna happen. Relex and enjoy your holidays. Have a bless one.
Love,
Tina.

12/25/2007 8:09 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Not being inclined to the subtleties of human interaction -

Some rational advice seems to be in order -

Black Pepper
Cinnamon
Dried Papaya - Dried Pineapple

Two to Three Tablespoons per day of black pepper

1 Teaspoon of cinnamon per day

Black Pepper has a powerful normalizing action upon the genitals - enlarging men to there normal size versus the shriveled up short look that is considered the norm -

This applies too women as well - enlarging the labia and mons and clitoris to there normal size versus the older women shrivled up mouse look -

This effect of the increased black pepper is seen in a few weeks -

Once you've got your genitals up to proper size -

You could expect your sperm potency to increase in fashion -

And your wifes potency as well -

Black Pepper slows the metabolic breakdown of various chemicals within the body allowing increased absorption and duration

The Papaya and Pineapple improve the breakdown of the proteins within the Black Pepper -

A synergistic relationship - they improve one another's function -

The Cinnamon combined with the above mentioned will prove helpful -

Happy Birthday - Jimbo

12/27/2007 4:44 AM  

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