Our IVF Moment Of Truth Has Arrived: Pregnancy Or Not?

While most people have been building up anticipation for what's gonna happen next Tuesday on Christmas Day for past couple of months, my wife Christine and I have had our sights set on a date a little sooner than that--today, December 20, 2007. After dealing with the sensitive subject of infertility and all the questions that have come with that, we received lots of encouragement from my readers who helped us with our decision whether to choose to do an IVF cycle to try to get pregnant.

In the end, the choice was easy: we had to try at least ONE IVF cycle for peace of mind about this entire issue. Regardless of the outcome, at least we'll never have the "what if?" questions haunting us in the back of our minds. Yes, it's been an expensive journey to take which is why we began the "Beads Of Hope" fundraiser (which is still open for business to anyone interested in donating to our cause). And Christine's amazing willingness to go through all the painful shots to stimulate her follicles on her ovaries and then the subsequent long needles I've been sticking up her hind side for the past two weeks has been awe-inspiring to say the least. The fact she did all that for us to have our baby was one of the greatest acts of love anyone has ever done for me.

When the embryo transfer took place just under two weeks ago, we had high hopes that those two little life forms that were placed inside of Christine would begin growing as a beautiful baby inside of her. But after a blood test at the office of the reproductive endocrinologist today confirmed that Christine is not pregnant, our dreams of having a baby at this time have been dashed.

Are we upset that this thing we've been wanting for over a dozen years didn't happen? Obviously. But we're not so devastated that it's gonna cripple us as a couple or as people. We know and trust in the perfect plan that God has in store for our lives and apparently that does not include children right now. That's not to say it will never happen...just not now.

During this process of going through the steps to overcome our infertility, two outstanding books were there to give us comfort and peace in the midst of this storm. The first one is one I saw in my local Christian bookstore called Inconceivable: Finding Peace in the Midst of Infertility by a woman named Shannon Woodward (interestingly, Christine's maiden name is Woodward!) who suffered 18 years without being able to have a baby. I gave that book to Christine on her birthday on November 11th and she absolutely fell in love with it. Knowing that she was not alone in this really helped Christine deal with the news we received today that much better.

The second book that helped us with this was Tiny Toes: A Couple's Journey Through Infertility, Prematurity, and Depression by Kelly D. Damron. Kelly was quite candid throughout this book talking about her infertility, how it impacted her marriage and relationship to her in-laws, and subsequent issues of depression and even a premature pregnancy. I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy all that she had to go through, but it's a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit that Kelly can tell her story with a happy ending today. She actively helps couples dealing with infertility today and told me about a great resource called RESOLVE.org for people who have been through the struggles of infertility and overcome. WORTH CHECKING OUT!

I've been blessed in my life beyond anything a man could ever ask for--a devoted and faithful wife who loved me even when I allowed my weight to get up to 410 pounds, an incredible 180-pound weight loss in 2004 that radically changed my health and life for the better, and a truly inspirational and caring group of people who grace my blog with their presence each and every day to encourage me in all that I do. What more could a guy ask for in life?

On behalf of Christine and me, let me just say THANK YOU for all the prayers, thoughts, donations, well wishes, and all the rest of the outpouring of love and support you have shown us over these past few months. It has been a difficult journey, but one I would gladly take again for a chance to have our very own baby. And it still may happen at some point, through another IVF or even an adoption, but it'll just have to wait for the time being.

Christine and I will be traveling to west Tennessee this weekend for Christmas to be with my father and his side of the family to help take our minds off of the news we just received. We're gonna be okay because we still have each other as well as thousands of people who are our extended family at our church and right here at "Livin' La Vida Low-Carb." You guys truly are the greatest and keep us going no matter what life throws at us. God bless you all and Merry Christmas!!!

An Enigmatic Quandary About Having An IVF/ICSI Baby

It's been a little more than a week since I've updated you on where my wife Christine and I are in our decision about what to do regarding having a baby. With terms like infertility, IVF, and donor sperm becoming a natural part of our lexicon these days, the exceptional response that so many of you have offered us has been tremendous. THANK YOU to everyone who has offered your opinions and we appreciate the incredible feedback.

Here's what has happened since the last update:

I went back to the reproductive endocrinologist for another semen analysis to see if there was ANY WAY POSSIBLE to have a baby using my sperm. The prospects were grim according to the two previous test results which yielded 4% and 0% quality sperm respectively. So I wasn't holding out much hope.

But imagine my surprise when the doctor said they found 8% motility (sperm that moved) which statistically is not that much different from the 4% since we are talking about MILLIONS of sperm. They like to see 50% motility for sperm to naturally do their thing and make babies naturally. While statistically it is possible since there are a little less than a million sperm that are motile, the likelihood of that happening is about as good as getting struck by lightning.

And yet there is GOOD NEWS in this now--the numbers are at least high enough that I can have MY BABY with Christine! Well, maybe. It will depend on that process called in vitro fertilization (IVF) and another specialized procedure called intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) (where the good sperm is injected into the middle of the egg to see if an embryo can be created from a fertilized egg). Since my quality sperm is so severely low, this is the ONLY way outside of that very small chance that one of my swimmers will find a way to reach Christine's eggs. While physically possible, it is probably unlikely. So IVF/ICSI is basically our primary pathway for having a baby produced by both of us.

We've had all the tests done which include an infectious diseases panel, the Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) test (important blood test for measuring the follicles in the ovaries to determine if a woman can make babies--high AMH levels indicate a condition known as polycystic ovarian sydrome, aka PCOS, something livin' la vida low-carb has been known to help with), general hormone testing for Christine, semen analysis for me, a sonohysterogram to see Christine's ovaries on an ultrasound, and probably a few other one I just don't remember at this point. Each of these tests have been adding up the costs into the thousands of dollars already.

Now we face an enigmatic quandary about having an IVF/ICSI baby and WE WANT YOUR HELP. You've been such an amazing resource for us so far and we are facing a fast-approaching deadline for our decision (coming no later than November 14th!). If you have been through an IVF and/or ICSI cycle, whether you were successful or not, and would be willing to have us call you to talk about it, then please e-mail me your name and phone number at livinlowcarbman@charter.net. We have some very difficult issues to work through that only someone who has gone through before could possibly understand (it's back to that "shared human experience" thing again!).

The major issue right now is money. I know, it shouldn't be a concern when you are talking about the process of having your baby, but I'm trying to separate myself emotionally from this right now. It's easy to see how people get sucked into this without really thinking it through first. I don't have anything against reproductive endocrinologists who do what they do, but it's easy to manipulate helpless couples into making choices they probably shouldn't make.

With that said, the fact is this IVF/ICSI procedure is going to be VERY expensive. Because this is a specialized procedure and involves some highly sophisticated technologies, just doing this alone costs $12,000-15,000. That doesn't count all the drugs they put you on, these tests we've been doing, and then all the pre-natal care leading up to the birth that is quite costly, too. It's a lot to think about.

Worst of all, the money is due in full BEFORE they will even begin the process. I understand the reasoning for doing that because they want to make sure they get paid since there's no turning back once that wheel starts rolling since you can't take the baby away once it starts growing inside the mother. The doctor has to take care of his own best interests and that is completely understandable.

Our particular reproductive endocrinologist has something called an IVF Refund plan that we are considering as a possible option. You receive 3 IVF cycles and 3 Frozen Embryo Tranfers (FET) to try to get pregnant. They push this one hard to couples who are desperate for a child, but have been unable to do so yet. It is supposed to give you "peace of mind" about the decision, but I'm not convinced yet of that personally (so much for the "peace of mind" part).

Supposedly it gives you a 90% refund if you are not "pregnant" after those three attempts which is an incredible marketing tool for them. You know they HOPE you get pregnant on the first try so they can get more money out of you. I hate feeling this way, but I'm just naturally skeptical about these kind of things. The cost of the "guarantee" is more than double what one cycle would be--in excess of $25,000. So, basically, you pay for two IVF cycles and get one free if the first two don't work.

Then, my concern about this "guarantee" is in their definition of "pregnant?" It is quite possible that Christine could be pregnant by their legal standards, but then never have the baby itself. I asked our doctor about the number of successful IVF cycles that resulted in a baby at his office over the past year (the only REAL measure of success in my eyes) and he said it's about 50%. Our prospect for having a baby with this method is about as good as it is not. Is it worth taking out the equivalent of a luxury car payment loan to MAYBE have our baby?

The worst case scenario with doing this in my mind is getting stuck with a $600-700 monthly payment for the next five years for...nothing. No baby. No return on that investment. Nothing but heartache and more pain. And the vision of some doctor getting rich off the hopes and dreams of a couple who just wants to have a child of their own to hold, love, and cherish. The guy's probably a good man, but you can't help but think these kind of things.

By the way, why is this process so freakin' expensive anyway? What do all those thousands of dollars go towards paying? Where do people with modest to lower incomes go when they want to have a child, too? The answer is they don't have that opportunity. And our doctor's office says most health insurance companies won't pay a dime for it either! Sheez! This royally sucks!

On the other hand, the best case scenario is we have a beautiful baby (or multiple babies!) of our own and gladly pay that monthly payment for a child we can love and raise (we even started looking at names over the weekend). Christine and I have talked about the "cheaper" options like donor sperm and she is dead set against it since it is physically possible for us to have OUR baby.

So the only real decision we have on the table right now is this: Do we take the chance that we will have a baby using this method with the risk that we may not and be stuck with a monthly reminder into our 40's that we couldn't have a baby?

Again, it is very difficult for me to remove myself from this emotionally which I have tried to do as much as possible. But we earnestly want to hear from anyone who has been through this decision-making process to give us your wisdom and knowledge before we make our decision. Ultimately we will do what is right for us, but I trust and appreciate anyone who wishes to help us. Send us your phone number if we can speak with you sometime this week. This decision needs to happen no later than Friday, so time is of the essence.

Here are some more e-mails I received from my readers about our situation:

Jimmy,

I just read your blog post about the problems you and Christine are having with conceiving. I truly, in my heart, believe that there is a reason for everything we encounter in life. I am not good at putting into words how I feel about something but, here goes.

When I was 13 days old, my life began. I had been put up for adoption by my biological parents and that is the day my "real" parents took me home. Both of my sisters and I were adopted from the same place, The Edna Gladney Home in Ft. Worth, Texas. I believe today it is just called Gladney.

Had God not known what good, loving people my parents were, he would not have lead them down that path. It takes special people to take a child into their home that is not their biological child, and love that child as if they were their own. Many, many children living with their biological parents today do not experience that kind of unconditional love and sadly never will.

I know who my biological parents are. I know where they live, I know their phone numbers. I have not and will not make the call to either one of them. I am one of the seemingly few adoptees in today's society that honestly isn't even curious about them. God gave me the parents I had. The best parents that ever walked the face of the earth. The most loving, caring, attentive, willing to do what ever it took to give us a good life, people He could find for us. How special is that!? Even now, 16 years after the death of my father and 1 year after the death of my mother, I have no intention of making those phone calls.

I don't know you and Christine personally, but from what I have seen and read in the short time I have been introduced to the work you have done, you and Christine are cut from the same cloth as my parents. Your love of life, Christian beliefs and obvious love for each other flows outward from each and every post, pod cast, blog post and video you make.

If you cannot have children of your own, please don't forget that possibly God has other plans for you and Christine. There may be a child somewhere that desperately needs you to love them, care for them, teach them, grow with them and just be there for them. A child whose biological parents can not or will not. A child like I was.

God Bless you and be with you during this difficult time.
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I was adopted at birth and want to make a good case for adoption. I was adopted by people who wanted me very badly and they gave me the best life they could. Though I found my natural family when I was 29 and I became close to my natural mother and brother and sister (my father could never bring himself to meet with me), my adoptive parents will always be mom and dad to me.

Jimmy, knowing you to the extent that I do, I'm sure you would love an adopted child as your own blood. So you may consider adoption as one alternative. The difficulty is that adoption isn't as easy as it was in 1949, and you may have to accept a child that doesn't come from the same socioeconomic background as you and Christine, or a child of a different race, indeed from a foreign country.

I think it is very wise, Jimmy, not to rush into anything, and particularly not out of any sense of desperation. Try to keep in mind and heart, as I try to and don't always succeed, that you and Christine are each complete, as you are, with or without children.

A little more on the matter of being adopted: I didn't mention that being an adopted child, as loved as I was, was not without its odd feelings of insecurity and curiosity from time to time. But kids have such feelings for any number of reasons. I was not athletic, whereas my adopted father was, for example.

Incidentally, I later found out that my natural parents were too young to keep me, had conceived me out of wedlock, but I believe that they wanted me, but my father's parents who insisted that I be given up. How ironic since after I was born and given up, they pushed my father and mother into getting married, whence I have a full blood sister and brother from that union. It was absolutely stunning to meet them when I was 29.
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Many of my ‘infertile’ clients have conceived using the protocol listed below:

1) coenzyme Q10, which protects against reactive oxygen species in the spermatic membranes, significantly increases motility in infertile men, improves fertilization rates, and increases sperm count and motility; 600mg per day in divided doses

2) Arginine, a precursor of several compounds thought to play a role in sperm motility 3000mg (3 grams) per day in divided doses on an empty stomach

High dietary levels of arginine and/or ornithine may cause reactivation of latent herpes viruses in a few susceptible individuals. If this occurs, discontinue use. Herpes Viruses are also ‘cold sores’ that occur in and your mouth. So if you get these often, arginine is not recommended.

3) Carnitine, which plays several roles in the development of healthy spermatozoa and has been shown to increase sperm count and motility. 1500 mg (1.5 grams)per day in divided doses on an empty stomach

All of these will greatly increase sperm mobility and count.
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Hi, Jimmy--

I have read your online book and am a low-carber. I am also an IVF nurse. After reading thru your blog I felt like I needed to respond.

First, let me say that I know how difficult the journey is, I live it with people everyday. Second, please know that there is a huge variation of advise and techniques available depending on what clinic you go to. Our clinic, for instance has a national/internaitonal reputation and we see patients from around the country and the world. Many have been treated elsewhere unsuccessfully before they reach us.

This is really not a sales pitch for my clinic. But as another writer observed, most men only need a relative few sperm of their own to be able to father a child using the latest techniques of recovery and fertilization but not all labs have the tools or the personnel.

I am not anti-adoption by any means, and it is a good choice for some people. But it is difficult choice to give up your own biology. Maybe you're not quite at the point where you have to give that up.
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Dear Jimmy,

I recently discovered your blog from the writings of Dana Carpender. I am a long term low carber, been at it since 2002. I remember well the hoopla there was when Gary Taubes first wrote 'What's if it's all been a big fat lie'?; I remember waiting at my computer hoping that Dr. Atkins would recover from his ultimately fatal fall and I remember the low carb marketing mania of 2004. However unbelievably I just discovered you :)! I love your writing style and am in the process of trying to get through all your backdated blogs.

I was saddened to read about you and your wife's battle with infertility. I have PCOS and endometriosis so know what it's like to battle with an unwilling body. I am not currently trying to conceive but I chart my cycles. From this I can see that conceiving may not be the easiest for me.

As well as being a low carb diet fan I am also a big fan of alternative remedies and have found them to be very helpful for my own ailments. I found this website that features a doctor who is well known in the U.K. and Ireland and has had great success getting people pregnant by giving them megadoses of vitamins and overhauling their diet. She's more of a moderate carb, low saturated fat type but I do agree with her policies re: soy, caffeine, alcohol, organics and omega 3's.

Anyway I hope that things look up for you guys. I am from Ireland by the way and adore your Southern accent. It's my favourite accent in the world!

Keep the comments coming and God bless you guys for your loving support. We appreciate you more than we could ever tell you. :)

Exceptional Response To My Infertility Post

Last week when I poured out my heart and soul to you about the infertility my wife Christine and I are facing, I knew it would elicit a great deal of feedback. But you guys just overwhelmed us with your thoughts, prayers, and personal stories about your own experiences regarding the decision about what to do regarding our desire to have kids. Read the many responses in the comments section of that post and I'll share even more that we received via e-mail in just a moment.

First, I'd like to provide a quick update.

We went to another local reproductive endocrinologist yesterday to go through one more round of testing on both Christine and I just to make sure the grim possibility of conceiving a child of our own is truly zero. We are big believers in the power of God to produce a miracle and would never say anything like this is impossible. If a 90-year-old woman named Sarah can get pregnant by a 100-year-old man named Abraham, then by golly who am I to doubt that a healthy couple in their mid-30's can't get pregnant?

The doctor we met was very kind and thorough in his analysis of our situation. This next week will be vitally important as it will determine where we go from here. On Monday, I have an appointment to have my sperm checked out for the THIRD time for viability. This office has a machine that electronically counts the good from the not-so-good sperm and applies a percentage to each of the kinds of quality sperm. If there is even ONE really good sperm in there, then we have a shot at having our own baby via IVF and other modern treatments. That is one of the next steps from there.

Interestingly, this office has a "money back guarantee" option with their IVF cycle if it does not take the first time. Since these procedures can cost upwards of $12,000-15,000, that's nice to know. We are happy to take out a loan to pay for this for our opportunity to have a child of our own. But first things first. We need to make sure my sperm will work or else we'll be looking at the alternative options I previously blogged about.

The longer I've thought about this, the more comfortable I am becoming with using donor sperm from either my own family or an anonymous donor. A baby is a baby regardless of where the genetic materials come from. It's just amazing the many ways to make that happen with modern technology and I'm thankful to have these options. I can't imagine how couples in previous generations dealt with these kinds of heartaches.

After obtaining a new sperm sample on Monday, we have a follow-up visit next Wednesday to see where we go from here. If the sperm is good, then the doctor may want to proceed with the IVF cycle. However, there is a new procedure called ICSI that can take even a lower-quality sperm and force it into an egg to see if it will fertilize. That's a bit more expensive, but cost is not the issue. We'll worry about paying for it later.

I'm not totally ruling out foster parenting or adoption altogether, but let's just say the option is not as appealing to me for a variety of reasons that have come to light since I began researching it. Anyone who goes through that ordeal and survives deserves a medal for putting themselves out there for the sake of an unwanted child. Again, the door is not closed on that, but we're gonna try other options first.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all your prayers and support through this trying time. It's funny, you get your health in order by losing weight and doing something with your life. But then you run into something like this and it makes you question what you could have done to deserve this. I know we're not alone and that's comforting to know there are others who struggle, too. But it doesn't make it any easier to comprehend.

I'll update you again when we get the test results back next week and decide what to do from here, but I just wanted to share my gratitude for your willingness to be open and honest about what you thought. God bless you all!

Here are a whole lot more comments we received via e-mail:

Jimmy & Christine,

I'm sorry to hear that you and your wife are having problems having a child. You yourself know my history of miscarriages and problems with my daughter's pregnancy. So I won't dwell on it. I am just wondering one thing though, did your doctor say anything at all about your diet maybe affecting your reproductive organs? I'm not dissing low carb, not even about low carb. I'm thinking maybe Gluten or another substance in foods that some human bodies are extra sensitive to.

Or, maybe even your body (I'm not blaming you, just thinking out loud to give you ideas) does not release the "Wake Up Juice" as I call it to wake up the dormant sperm. I think it's called Seminal fluid. It literally wakes up the sperm. That's the only way to describe it. Ask your doctor, or maybe you already have, about whether or not you are making it in your body. Or are you making enough of it?
I just wish you the best in this. I know it sounds cliche, but blood doesn't make the father, the heart does.
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Dear Jimmy,

I just read your post about you and your wife’s fertility struggles and I wanted you to know that I’ll be praying for you. Never underestimate what the Lord can do for you, my friend. My husband and I have a five month old daughter and she was my seventh pregnancy. I had six miscarriages in a row. A very holy man used relics of St. Therese of Liseux to pray over my womb and ask her to intercede to Christ for us. Even as a person who considered herself devout, I did not think it would work.

I was sure after six bloody and painful losses that I had received my answer and that it was “no” on having children. A month later we conceived number 7 and Bronwyn Therese was carried to term...plus two weeks! We have since found out that I have a rare blood mutation that can make one more susceptible to miscarriage. There is a treatment protocol for it but we did not discover it until after Bronwyn was successfully gestating—point being, she came to term on prayer and faith alone. I was not receiving the appropriate treatment at the time. I will pray specifically for you and your wife at evening prayer tonight, I know how terribly painful it is to want a child and to remain childless.

I don’t have any particular advice because God created our reproductive lives wrapped in a certain degree of mystery—but one thing I will tell you is don’t trust reproductive endocrinologists (in fact, trust them less than doctors who still prescribe low calorie low fat protocols for obesity). They have a lot invested in telling you things are hopeless. We were told by the number one reproductive endocrinology clinic in the world, that our only chance of a healthy birth was to do IVF with pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD).

As faithful Catholics, we discerned that we are called to honor and understand the Church’s teachings on reproductive technology so we refused. God rewarded our faithfulness--as it turns out, with my blood condition, I would have likely miscarried all of the little lives they created and implanted, and I would have been at risk for DVT, which could have killed both me and what ever child I was carrying.

There are natural and alternative medicine approaches to raising sperm count and since you have conceived once, you are not completely sterile. There is always hope in the Lord and don’t be afraid to think outside the box when it comes to your own reproductive health. Treat this “problem” the way you treated your obesity problem. I know some people who have successfully raised very low motility and/or low count through acupuncture and Chinese medicine. Doctors don’t know WHY these things work except that it seems to and in females there have been some pretty convincing studies done at Harvard concerning Eastern medicine and reproduction. The studies say pretty clearly that it WORKS but they have no idea by what mechanism it works.

All this is to say: don’t buy that IVF and/or donor sperm are the ONLY ways in which you can get pregnant. I don’t mean to raise false hopes, only to point out that reproductive endocrinologists are not God.

I also have experienced among the women I met who struggled with IVF what I call “the Phoebe Factor”---I have one good friend who was told that her husband’s sperm was so poor that they needed to do a procedure called ICSI. In addition she rarely had periods and had severe endometriosis like your wife. Desperate from being told that things were so bleak, she went through several miscarried IVFs and finally conceived her twins, Heidi and Aaron, after months of bedrest. Even then they were premature and spent time in the NICU. Gina became pregnant with Phoebe only a few months after Heidi and Aaron were finally brought home with no help at all.

She and “the Phoebe Factor” represent a phenomenon I’ve seen over and over again in this world of infertility—human’s continually procreate despite what the best doctors say the odds are. Which means that they don’t know as much as they think they do.

In the course of this nightmare, we did a lot of research and reproductive endocrinology is an ethically bereft specialty that makes a lot of money playing on human emotions. I don’t know what the answer is for you and Christine (aside from prayer, prayer, and more prayer) but I will warn you that the objections you have to adoption (another highly corrupt field, so very, sadly) are even more true of artificial reproductive technology. In addition to red tape and disappointment, Christine will go through hell physically and you will both go through hell emotionally. You still won’t be guaranteed a child even with donor sperm, no matter what they tell you. If she is inseminated through IVF—make sure you understand fully what is happening to her body (and the risks the hormones they use incur) and to the embryos that are created in their laboratories. Also, know the risks to your offspring as well—IVF babies are often born prematurely and are very small.

An EXCELLENT book on this topic is Coming to Term by Jon Cohen. Jon is a medical journalist (a very good one) and he and his wife endured infertility. Like those who have coped with obesity, he was shocked to find what has been masquerading as science in the name of reproductive endocrinology, which is code for cash on the barrel medicine (until very recently no insurance would cover ART...being able to set your own fees independent of HMOs and insurance carriers means BOO COO bux for docs). He is a non-practicing Jew so he does not share the same ethical objections we have to artificial reproductive technology but he comes to the same conclusions as we do about the ethical bankruptcy in the field.

Also, though it is not a vocation to enter into lightly simply because one is having trouble conceiving, think again about adoption. There are some Christian agencies doing good work out there. We lost 15K to a corrupt agency in the course of our journey so we know of whence we speak to a certain degree. But on the other side of our unsavory experience, I have friends who were led to very grace-filled adoption agencies. God be with you both.
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Jimmy,

Sorry it's taken me so long to comment on your posting regarding IVF from last week, but I wanted to put some thought into my words before I rambled something off quickly.

Look, these are my own personal feelings and if you know me by now, they're true and without motive--with me what you see is what you get, so here I go.

I think the fact that you'd consider your father as a donor is quite honorable. I do not find anything weird or strange about it whatsoever. But to me, that's just gravy--an added bonus of having a donor who shares your DNA.

Here's my thinking--(now, keep in mind, I know you, but not intimately; we share a deep love of Atkins and the low-carbohydrate way of life and all of its life-giving mechanisms, and I only know Christine from your YouTube videos); but being an intuitive person (which helps me in my writing, as you know...) I feel like I do have an understanding of what both you and your wife are all about--and that's why I think it's imperative that you and Christine have children, no matter what.

No matter who the donor is, no matter what means are necessary, I think you and your wife (who just by the way she looks at you so lovingly during the videos tells quite a story in itself) have so much love and knowledge to give to however many children you have, it would be a terrible waste not to.

I know you both would be absolutely wonderful, loving, and responsible parents--not just from a spiritual point of view, either, but from a health aspect as well. You'd both be trend setters (what? not feeding your children cereals? how revolutionary!!) and you'd probably inspire a lot of young parents around you.

There, I've said it. That's my opinion. If I've offended you or your wife in any way with my words, please forgive me--I speak from the heart and say what I mean and feel.

I wish you both lots of success in this endeavor.
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Hey Jimmy,

I just wanted you and Christine to know that you are in my prayers. I know this has to be such an emotional time for the both of you. I know that God is sovereign and He will direct your path. Remember Abraham and Sarah though… all medical reasons told them they could never conceive and look what God did. I wanted to email you instead of posting on your comments cause I just wanted to privately lift you guys up. I do hope that you get a second opinion though, maybe see if you can find info on a Christian specialist even that will work and pray with you guys about what God would be leading you too.

I also wanted to pass along another tidbit of info. Two of my nephews are adopted from Russia. My SIL and her husband (it’s B’s sister) have been unable to conceive as well and while she was deemed fine, he refused to be tested for his own reasons, so they were left at adoption or INV. They found a Christian International Adoption agency that was incredible and the entire process for both boys took less than a year. The agency is Gladney and if you guys want I can see about getting more contact information for you. Both of the boys are as sweet as they can be. Both adopted around 1 year of age. The oldest is now 8 and the younger is 6.

The neat thing is that both boys have been told from the beginning about their adoption, but they have made it so special… they love learning about where they are from, and feel extra special because my SIL explained to them how they were specially chosen for that family. Just like God chose’s us and adopts us into His family.

Anyways, I know that you guys are in wonderful hands (HIS). We’ll be lifting you and Christine up that God would make His will for your lives abundantly clear.

You are an incredible couple...
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Jimmy,

There were many years in my life, when I longed for a child, my own family. Now I have 4 grown children, and they are what's most important to me in my life.

That being said, I would like to answer your offer on opinion of using your father as a donation. I have to say that the thought of that grosses me out. However, what I think is really of no importance here. What is important is what you and Christine are comfortable with, and what you decide for yourselves is your best course of action.

As you know, I work for an insurance company in Massachusetts, where infertility treatment is mandated for insurance coverage. So in-vitro fertilization is fairly common here. Things can go wrong. I do feel that you are the kind of man that could live with his decision if the undertaking produced a child with disabilities as a result of the conception method. I would ask you to ask yourself if you could come to terms with this possibility during the decision making process.

Thirdly, my strongest opinion is that you should spend at least one or two years trying to find a physician that can determine the cause and possible treatment of your condition . (I was absent that day in medial school, :P), but common sense tells me that extremely frequent urination and immobile sperm could possibly be related to a body chemistry issue that may be treatable. I would like for you to be absolutely sure that you have explored all avenues available to you in a sufficient manner before you make your decision. I realize that costs are a factor in this pursuit and may limit that course of action.

Good luck any may God bless. I will care about you and support you in whatever direction you and Christine choose to take. I am a great believer in the concept "The Good Lord Works In Mysterious Ways."
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Hi Jimmy and Christine!

After reading your recent post I tried to comment and couldn't so here goes my thoughts.

First off, based on some of the comments there are some gene pools you just don't want to go wading in.


I haven't read of IVF or fertility drugs anywhere in the Bible. It is my thought that childless couples were put on this earth to provide for parentless children no matter what there age. Siblings are frequently separated and never again see each other until they are adults. That is just sad.

Perhaps, if you are not sure you could love these children you could try foster care first. If you were to take a family of siblings it could be possible you wouldn't be trying so hard to get pregnant and it would happen for you. After all if you were pregnant once it isn't totally impossible it will happen again.

Good Luck to you, however you choose.
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Dear Jimmy -

No beans for two or three years? What would happen if didn't get any Vitamin C for three years? This analogy may not be as far fetched as it may seem to you. There is room in your low carb diet to include a few raw dry beans/lentils/wheat/barley/millet brown rice - a teaspoon of all combined is only 5 carbs or so -

And I wouldn't have taken the time to write this if I thought it was not important for you. These seeds have important functions - and to remove them from your daily diet totally - is a mistake. Less is often Moore when it comes to diet - so I would not dismiss the small amounts as being without useful effect.

I suppose writing this is a waste of time - but I had no other choice but to convey something that might help your problem - and give you the choice of using it or not.

You do not need to reply - I know your a busy guy.
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Dear Jimmy,

I am a daily reader of your Livin' La Vida Low Carb blog, and thank you very much for all you do to get this important nutrition message to the world. I want to respond to your confession of the problems you and Christine are having in conceiving a child. It is so sad these days when couples who want children cannot have them while others who conceive a child can legally pay a doctor to dismember their baby and throw it in the trash because they don't want it. We live in a very sick world.

I want to talk to you as one Christian to another, because I know you understand the importance of living life God's way and not the world's way. Bringing a child into being not through an act of love the way God ordained it but through artificial means achieved in a laboratory is the world's way, and even though it can seem like doctors want to do this to help infertile couples, all artificial means are really part of a broader view of reproductive technology that seeks to free man from reliance on God and to control human reproduction to do whatever we want with our bodies.

Abortion, artificial contraception, in-vitro fertilization, artificial insemination, cloning, embryonic stem-cell research, genetic manipulation--it's all part of a mindset that believes we are just evolved matter and we can do whatever we want to our bodies and our world. Your intentions are the best in the world--married couples are supposed to want babies, but nothing matters more than making it to heaven, so please don't use sinful means to conceive a child.

I'm Catholic if you haven't guessed, and I want to share with you our very beautiful teaching on the human person and human sexuality. If you are open to deepening your understanding of how God meant us as men and women created in His image to live our lives and enjoy His gift of sexuality as He intended us to, here is a link to a website on Theology of the Body, explaining Catholic teaching on human sexuality as developed by His Holiness John Paul II of recent memory. The link contains an article by Christopher West, who lectures nationally on Theology of the Body, on in-vitro fertilization and why it is not consonant with God's plan for us. The way God made us is so wondrous--I hope reading about this helps you to love and serve God more fully than ever.

I know you are thinking about artificial insemination instead of IVF, but it's the same difference. I know adoption is expensive and a long process (friends of mine just brought back a beautiful little boy from the Philippines), but please don't resort to immoral means to achieve your very laudable desire to be a father. Jesus tells us we will all carry a cross if we want to follow Him; maybe this is yours for the time being. Please keep praying to God for a child by any means He allows. I will pray for you too.
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Jimmy - just read your blog. There's quite a lot of evidence which has found specific nutritional supplementation can enhance sperm counts/sperm quality/fertility. Have you looked into this? Obviously, there's no guarantees here, but my advice is to consider it (if you haven't already, that is).

Sounds like your endo is very entrenched in the medical model, and I suspect you're right to get a second opinion. But I also can't help wondering if you might get 'better' advice from someone who is willing and able to take a more holistic view. My suspicion is that you might benefit from advice from, say, a naturopathic physician, perhaps with a special interest in fertility. Diagnosis and management of nutritional and/or hormone deficiency would certainly be worth a go, I reckon. These situations are rarely as 'cut and dried' as some doctors would have us believe they are.
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Jimmy,

I feel for you guys. I really do. In the end, this is a huge decision and you have to go with your heart, but since you asked for opinions, I'll give mine.

I'd reconsider adoption. Adoption is a gift directly from God, and it’s a great thing. It’s not the opposite of pregnancy. It’s the opposite of being alone! It's a wonderful process that parallels our relationship with our heavenly father (He adopted us…thanks God!) and will allow you to understand God in a way most of us won’t get to because of this experience.

In reality, adoption is YOUR (not Christine's) only true option because even if you go the sperm donor route, you will be adopting your father's child. One way or another YOU WILL BE adopting someone else’s baby. (again, this is a good thing. Yaaaaaay for adoption)!

There are so many babies already out there that need homes and you could be their miracle...their one in a million shot. I see this as a huge opportunity to be the loving arms of God to a child that may never know the loving arms of anyone.

This may or may not hit home…but think about the cats you’ve had. Have you ever once thought “I just don’t love you as much because you aren’t “my” child”?

Again, just my thoughts but in the end you have to go with your heart. I’m sorry for your pain and I’m praying for you today, buddy.
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Jimmy,

I read your post this morning and can only offer sympathy and support for what you and Christine are going through. My husband and I have spent the last 5 years trying to have our second child and have suffered through many miscarriages and treatments on the way. My problem is PCOS which low-carb has been helping, but there still are no guarantees and our time is running out. I am already 40 and my husband is 45 and we are emotionally drained through this process, and financially strapped. Our insurance covers none of the associated costs of the fertility treatments we have been doing for the last 3 years.

But I digress. I think you have to decide for yourselves whether you want to be pregnant, or to be parents. We had looked at adoption as an option before my daughter was born (after 4 years of trying and treatments) because we wanted to be parents and knew that children are a gift from God and love comes from Him too. So a child born of my body or a child born of my heart, the love would be the same. We were eventually blessed when we least expected it (My husband's Dad had died from a very short and painful round of cancer 2 days before I discovered I was pregnant. It really was a surprise.) and did not have to go the adoption route. Now we are too old to have a baby placed with us, and cannot afford the cost of foreign adoption. So I am trying to come to terms with having only one child. It may be that this is God’s plan for us and I am learning to accept it.

So, really what I am trying to say with all of the ramble is, Jimmy, you have a good and generous heart. Whether a child comes to you through Christine’s body or through another way, he or she will still, always be your child and you will love him or her without there ever being a difference. Trust God on this. He knows what he’s doing when it comes to love.

You should check out this site. I know that some of the back posts have had information that could help you recover your quantity and quality.
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Hey Jimmy and Christine,

Okay, here's an old lady coming to pester you again! By the way, Christine is my daughter's name-she's a miracle baby I had at 39 and she plays flute, clarinet, and guitar and wants to major in music and lead a church music program. Okay, enough about my kid!

To the matter at hand, When My husband and I were in our mid-twenties we decided it was time for a baby (got married at 20). We did try, and it was fun, then I finally got pregnant and miscarried early on. I went through testing-seems I don't produce enough progesterone to support the pregnancy in the first trimester. Ok, we can fix that the doctors said. Super!

But I never got pregnant again! Then we tested my husband-oops! Does the term "clinically sterile" mean anything to you? Oh yeah, he had a few sperm, but they were not good swimmers and there were so few the docs said, "Forget about it." We both
went on fertility drugs, which really messes with you-mind and body, and tried different things with the docs to help using my DH as the donor-every month, I cried. (Feel your pain, Christine) My husband was not happy with the idea of my being pregnant with someone else's sperm-just bothered him on a primitive level. So I had to accept that. The only thing left was adoption. That is easier said than done, right folks?

Okay, I tried to get on every list out there, nothing happened. I had about given up when I got a call from the hospital where I worked. Seems a patient of mine had remembered me when he heard of a girl that needed a good home for her baby due in a few months. He was a wonderful Christian man and he helped those in need in his church. So that is how I got my oldest, now 22. I thought he would be an only child even though I was on every list in town.

Then one day in a Bible Study class, I met a girl whose in-laws had retired and were running a pregnancy outreach in North GA. She said most of the girls keep their babies but sometimes they would want to find a good family to adopt them and so they kept a list of Christian couples wanting to adopt. I got on their list and within a year I had my second son, who is now 18.

Here's the kicker, Christine, you can relate. Even though I now had 2 beautiful boys who I loved more than life itself, I still had a strong desire to be pregnant just one time and bring a life into the world. I prayed for God to take away the desire because it made me sad sometimes and I appreciated so much having the boys I just couldn't help feeling what I felt. So I ask God to either get me pregnant or take the desire away. Two months later, I was pregnant. At this point, we had been married 19 years and I was 39 when I had her. What joy!

I want to make several points here:

1. My husband was a very healthy 25 year old and there was no reason for his sterility-so don't listen to the idiots that have never faced this who are trying to say you aren't healthy, it's all that dieting, etc. It just happens, so there. It's best not to talk to people who haven't been through the same things because they will drive you crazy and you'll want to punch their face! (sorry, forgot I was a nice little old Christian lady there for a minute!)

2. My DH and I can tell you from experience that you feel no different between your adopted kids and your biological ones. We love them all the same-don't care where they came from. One caveat--if they are biological then you have to take responsibility for how they are, when they are adopted you can just say, "gee, who knows why they do that, maybe their biological parents were like that" (LOL-takes the onus off your genes!)

3. Trust your feelings about a situation and trust God to do what is best for you. If you feel artificial insemination using a donor is okay, then do it. If you don't, then don't. Pray, ask for guidance, and listen to your heart.

4. The people we got our middle child from are still running the pregnancy ministry in N. GA if you want I can get you in contact with them.

I love you guys, your hearts shine through all you do. God bless you!
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Jimmy...

I too am from the Christian community...A friend of mine Ron Stoddart has a ministry that places embryos for adoption. He was always concerned about the embryos not used by those using IVF.

It's called the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program and this may be an option you may find helpful.
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See, this is why I always brag about how I am the luckiest man in the blogosphere to have such a varying group of compassionate, caring, and educated readers to help out on virtually any subject. THANK YOU to everyone who has written to us with advice and encouragement as we travel down this road. We KNOW we are in good hands and that the eventual choice we make will be the right one for us. Keep praying! :)

'Livin' La Vida Low-Carb Show' Episode 84: Talking Low-Carb Living And Fertility With Dr. Gil Wilshire

Dr. Gil Wilshire says PCOS is a growing fertility concern for women

In Episode 84 of "The Livin' La Vida Low-Carb Show with Jimmy Moore," we hear from reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Gil Wilshire at the Columbia, Missouri-based Mid-Missouri Reproductive Medicine & Surgery Clinic discuss polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), obesity, and infertility to see how livin' la vida low-carb is part of the solution to these health issues.

Click "Play In Popup" or "Download" below to LISTEN NOW:

 "The Livin' La Vida Low-Carb Show with Jimmy Moore" Episode 84 [24:37m]: Play in Popup | Download

Dr. Wilshire is one of the leading physicians in the field of fertility, but one of only a handful nationwide who actually implores a controlled-carbohydrate approach (or "nutrient-dense" as he likes to refer to it) with his mostly overweight patients who are having trouble getting pregnant. Of course, it doesn't hurt to have a spouse who just happens to be the most popular low-carb blogger on the planet living under the same roof, too (she even brags on hubby today in this blog post about my interview with him)!

Get more of "The Livin' La Vida Low-Carb Show" podcast by:

1. Listening at the official web site
2. Going to iTunes
3. Calling (818) 688-2763 to listen via Podlinez
4. Subscribing to the RSS feed

Dr. Wilshire is certainly on the cutting edge of the latest scientific data regarding carbohydrate-restriction as it relates to the child-bearing health of his patients. Why do you think low-carb living hasn't caught on yet among his colleagues and do you think there will be more people like Dr. Gil Wilshire turning to this healthy nutritional approach in the future of reproductive care? Tell me what you think about treating PCOS, obesity, and infertility with a low-carb diet.

THANK YOU as always for listening to "The Livin' La Vida Low-Carb Show with Jimmy Moore." I welcome your feedback at my podcast web site or via e-mail anytime at livinlowcarbman@charter.net.

We Are Enjoying Our Time Away In Missouri

Christine and I had a good time at Ryan's in St. Louis, MO on Saturday

If you haven't noticed, I'm not blogging as much as normal this week because I'm on vacation in St. Louis, Missouri. Christine and I are enjoying a few days of rest and relaxation away from all the cares and worries of the world to rejuvenate and recharge ourselves. As I've gotten older, spending this kind of quality time together has become more of a priority than ever before.

Our Saturday meetup and get-together at Ryan's was eventful, though. There was some confusion by the staff about it and they turned several people away who said they were looking for me. Um, Jimmy who? Yikes! Read all about this experience in my fellow blogger Amy Dungan's Healthy Low-Carb Living Blog.

It was great meeting Amy and her family as well as Lisa! I heard several people came, but left when they thought I wasn't there. Sorry about the communication problem with the manager there. It's a good lesson learned for the next time I do one of these events.

As for our time here in Missouri, Christine and I FINALLY got some news about why we haven't been able to have kids yet. As I've blogged about before, we have been married nearly 12 years (our anniversary is August 5th) and still haven't been able to have kids. We really would like to have a little Moore running around the house, but it just hasn't happened in God's perfect timing for us yet.

During our visit here, we saw a doctor who evaluated both of us and discovered we BOTH have issues that could be the culprit in our childlessness. My sperm count is high, but the quality sperm is extremely low. Christine's issue is a slight case of endometriosis which causes her pain.

We are in the process of deciding how to treat both of these and go through the process of in vitro fertilization (IVF). It's not gonna be cheap, but we're ready to have children. We're in our mid-30's and NOW is the time to do this. We'd appreciate your prayers and support for us as we go through this process.

I'll be blogging as much as I can over the next few days while we are still away. We'll be flying back home to Spartanburg, South Carolina on Thursday afternoon, so I'll be back in the saddle on Friday. THANKS for your faithfulness to the "Livin' La Vida Low-Carb" blog and I'll see ya later! :)