Friday, May 09, 2008

Appearing On The 'Twin Peas Podcast' To Candidly Discuss Our Failed IVF Cycle

Kelly Damron talked with Christine and me about our infertility

Mother's Day is coming up again this Sunday and it's gonna be hard on me and Christine. Why when we both still have our mothers with us? Well, let's blame it on dashed hopes and dreams for parenthood...for now.

As many of you know who read about our failed IVF (in vitro fertilization) in December 2007, our quest to have a baby of our own was a difficult time in our life. In fact, we asked for your input about what we should do and what an incredible response you gave us! If I never said THANK YOU for all of the care and concern that so many of you offered, then please know how much we appreciated the many e-mails and cards. God bless you guys!

After many weeks of contemplating whether an IVF/ICSI was right for us, we finally came to the conclusion that we wanted to give it the old college try so we could at least have the peace of mind that we gave it the old college try. It's an $18,000 decision we don't regret making and still feel to this day was the right one.

While we were hopeful in December as Christine was giving herself all those shots to boost her egg follicles and when the crucial egg retrieval and embryo transfer took place a few weeks later that a pregnancy would take place, we were always expecting that it probably wouldn't work. It was this realistic mindset that helped soften the blow for us somewhat when the doctor said no baby.

Fast forward a little more than four months. It's May and that's the month when we celebrate motherhood followed quickly in June with a similar dedication to fatherhood. While I am all for rejoicing those who have been blessed and privileged to be parents, it can be a difficult time for people like us and others who have not been able to have children and want them. And church is the worst!

I will never forget last Father's Day when the pastor of the church asked all the dads in the church to come to the altar for prayer and recognition. Christine and I sing in the choir and when the pastor made this announcement the entire male section of the choir evacuated the middle seats leaving me and a young unmarried guy. In the middle of the pastor's prayer, I could hear the unmistakable sound of my wife sobbing uncontrollably. When I heard this, I immediately went over to her and held Christine tightly. It's not something I ever want her to go through again.

So, with that said, we won't be going to church on Mother's Day on Sunday or on Father's Day next month. The pain is just too much to bear despite being in church. I wish there was a way churches could still honor mothers while simultaneously giving respect and prayer for those who WANT to be a mother (I've suggested this to my pastor and he said he would consider such changes). Unfortunately, that doesn't exist in a lot of churches right now, so it's just better to avoid those particular days altogether. We'll spend time with each other on Sunday and get back to church next week.

One of our best resources during our IVF cycle and the aftermath of that has been a woman named Kelly Damron, author of an amazingly helpful book of inspiration and hope about going through infertility and the depression that can come from it called Tiny Toes: A Couple's Journey Through Infertility, Prematurity, and Depression. Christine and I met Kelly and her husband Dave in Phoenix, Arizona last month and they are a prime example of how couples can survive such a traumatic event like this.

They were fortunate enough to have twin baby girls from their IVF cycle, but their marriage almost didn't make it. Today, they are a strong-knit family raising their gorgeous girls thankful for the blessings they have received knowing there are people like us out there who didn't have a happy ending to our story. And yet Kelly was impressed by how well we were doing so soon after our news when we met with her that she wanted to have us on her podcast show this week. We happily obliged!

You can listen to our appearance on the "Twin Peas Podcast" airing today as we share about all we went through with our IVF cycle that didn't work. We are very open and honest about how we feel, what we endured (especially Christine), how we feel today, and what role children may play in our future during this podcast show. I hope you give it a listen to hear our heart about this sensitive subject. It's as much a part of who I am now as livin' la vida low-carb.

Listen to Episode 5 of the "Tiny Toes Podcast" to hear Kelly's interview with us:

icon for podpress  Tiny Toes Podcast Episode #5 [21:02m]: Listen Now Download

You may notice that Kelly's podcast show is produced by the same person who produces my "Livin' La Vida Low-Carb" podcast show. She recently joined the Disc of Light family of shows from producer extraordinaire Kevin Kennedy-Spaien. If you have a passion and zeal for something and feel like your voice should be heard on that subject, then let Kevin consult you on creating a podcast or blog. He's the best in the business of the new media (IMHO!), so let him help take you to that next level.

Let me know what you thought about our interview with Kelly Damron. :) Special thanks to her for allowing us to talk about our experiences and encourage others who are going through similar circumstances. Although it's not a happy subject, we realize that God has a greater purpose for our lives right now...without a child. That may change someday, but we have come to grips with our reality right now.

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Anonymous Teresa H said...

the podcast was awesome!! The love you guys have is so hart warming! You guys are great and I know in time that baby from God will be in your arms.

Yall are in our prayers
God Bless
Teresa H

5/09/2008 3:02 PM  
Blogger quotidianlight said...

Oh gosh, I have tears in my eyes right now. Add one more pray on your behalf. The baby will come, the form and time may not be as expected. You two have so much love to share; your child will be lucky indeed.

5/09/2008 6:54 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

Thanks so much for sharing this.
You two have already helped so many people.
Words cannot express how much you and Christine have helped totally turn my health around for the better (as well as my family), and continue to be a huge source of support.
I am inspired by how you let God work though you.

5/09/2008 11:07 PM  
Blogger TypeAMom said...

Jimmy and Christine,
DON'T give up - don't EVER give up!!! God sends babies to us in His time, not in our's. My husband and I had to wait 4 years before our blessing arrived - no doubt we had something to learn about ourselves or SOMETHING before Josh was entrusted to us. It IS worth the wait, the pain, the feeling of hopelessness. You guys obviously have incredible love and support for each other - hold on tight to that and press on. You are an inspiration to so many!! Your baby will be a very lucky child indeed!

Prayers coming your way!!

5/10/2008 5:54 AM  
Anonymous MizFit said...

this gave me chills.

we adopted our daughter from Guatemala a few years ago...I lived there with her for a while and truly found my heart in central america.

5/10/2008 7:06 PM  
Blogger Lisa32989 said...

Your story about Father's Day brought tears to my childless eyes. Isn't it interesting that those with children think they should say something so they do & it doesn't help? Sometimes it makes it worse. I gots lots of "Happy Mother's Day" wishes today, on one of my saddest days each year.

Only someone who wants children but has none can truly understand. You and Christine are in my prayers (and I don't blame you at all for staying away from church today!)

5/11/2008 5:47 PM  
Blogger caroline said...

Your good will toward all is what can lead you through--don't give up. If you can move through the issues that cause pain to be swallowed by eating, and lose the weight and all those old negative concepts, you can stay strong.

Focus all your good will and love, which is evident between the two of you in all of your videos (no matter how goofy they get--which is good!) and imagine that it is a halo around this child that exists somewhere in spirit, and is waiting to be sent down to you.

Your love and hope is the best thing for it. You can envision it concretely, and do this together. Don't lose hope!!! You'll be standing up in church soon enough as one of those parents.

Thank you for your wonderful, inspiring, and joyful blog and videos. Stay strong--you both can do it!!!

5/11/2008 9:03 PM  

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