Bake This Low-Carb Wicked Witch Halloween Cake

She may be evil-looking, but this witch is totally low-carb

Halloween is here this week along with all that sugar, sugar, and more sugar (aka "rat poison"). It really disgusts me that we have a national day for children to load up on one of the most damaging things they could possibly put inside their body. But the candy companies love it because their sales projections depend on this deeply-entrench annual tradition that shows no sign of ever going away.

Call me a party pooper, but at some point we need to wake up to reality and realize that our condoning of passing out gobs and gobs of candy on Halloween sends mixed messages to children about health. If all the adults are giving out candy to children, then it can't be that bad, right? WRONG! Those of us who are livin' la vida low-carb should take the lead and refuse to pass out sugary treats. Instead, we can buy small toys or some other non-sugary treat.

We'll keep talking about this problem year after year until people realize it is all that sugar, high fructose corn syrup, and excessive refined carbohydrates behind the childhood obesity and Type II diabetes epidemic we face. Either we figure that out now while we still can or we are forced to come to grips with it when these conditions are expected to overtake ALL our children by the year 2044.

So what can we do? Well, we can at least try to find ways to cut the sugar content of the "treats" we serve for days like Halloween. That's why I'm happy to tell you about a really awesome cake recipe that is shaped like a wicked witch. COOL! Special thanks to SheKnows.com for this outstanding sugar-free/low-carb recipe.

LOW-CARB WICKED WITCH HALLOWEEN CAKE

For the cakes:
4 cups almond flour
2 cups unsalted butter (room temperature) (plus 1 tablespoon for greasing)
6 tablespoons Splenda
10 large eggs
2 generous teaspoons baking powder
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

For the frosting:
2 (8-oz ) packages cream cheese
1/2 cup Splenda (sucralose)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup whole milk*
Green food coloring (for the face)
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tablespoon whole milk*
1 tablespoon Splenda (for the hat)
17 Sugar-free Gummi Worms, plus your choice of any other sugar-free Halloween candy shapes for decoration only.

*Use low-carb milk if desired. This will change the nutritional analysis below.

Servings: 20
Nutritional info per serving:
6.61g carbs
2.53g fiber
9.29g protein
38.39g fat
180.74mg cholesterol
144.46mg sodium
409.92 calories

Click here for the baking directions on this deliciously evil low-carb Halloween dessert.

Halloween Freak Show: Dietary Supplements Made Out Of Dead Bodies

If you thought cannibalism was outlawed, think again!

Just in time for Halloween, I've got something so wickedly gruesome and freaky to the max that it will very likely turn your stomach worse than anything you have seen or heard in a long time. It sounds like something straight out of horror movie!

If you are squeamish or if you are easily grossed out, then you probably want to stop reading right now. But if you think your stomach can take it, then read on.

Believe it or not, there is a real company on the Internet right now at this very moment which actively promotes doing something with the body of your loved ones who pass away that is so off-the-wall crazy, there's no way I'd ever be able to make something like this up. What is it?

They make nutritional supplements out of dead bodies.

I'm not kidding!

The company is called Modern Man Eater and, as the name implies, they encourage people to pass on the "unimaginable power" that comes from ingesting the elements made from the body of your Grandma Martha, Aunt Sally, or Uncle Joe. Heck, they'll even make vitamins out of your dog Buster if you would like! Again, this is NOT a joke! It's as real as real can be.

Check out this ominous plea on the front page of their web site:

"The Question is: When you Die, Do you want your Life Force to Vanish or Passed on to your Children and their Children The Ancients knew. Warriors regularly fed themselves upon the Organs of defeated enemies to steal their Strength and Energy. In Pre-History, Families consumed their freshly Dead Ancestors so that their Wisdom and Essence is Preserved and Carried On within the Family."

EWWWW! This company is BEYOND sicko, they're a bunch of whack jobs! They think the work they are doing is continuing on a supposed tradition of passing on the family heritage one bite at a time. Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick.

Here's the process they use for making ingestible pills for consumption:

"Your Loved one's body will be separated into its Discreet Components, then Dried, Distilled, and Processed into Vitamins, Minerals, and Food Additives that can Strengthen your entire Family for years to come! Sanitary and Food-Grade Quality. Not only Good for your Body but truly feeds your Soul."

Blech! I'm turning white now from this...not sure if I can make it through the rest of this post. But I'll try.

What supplements come from one dead human body? Check it out:

Hair: First the Corpse is entirely Shaven and Hair collected. Then, via Hydrolysis, the Cysteine is Leeched out, purified, and Converted to the biologically valuable Vitamin L-Cystene.

Blood: All the Blood is Drained, Dried, Collected, Powdered and Encapsulated. These are the best iron-heavy Multi-Vitamin available!

Next, the Corpse is boiled to remove the meat from the bones.

Bones: The Bones are ground to a fine Powder, mixed with water and an agregator compound and formed into Calcium Tablets.

Meat: All of the remaining flesh is then Freeze-Dried and ground into a protein-intense, powdered nutritional supplement. Suitable for Energy Shakes, spicing up dinner, or mixed into foods such as scrambled eggs or oatmeal.

Mmm mmm yummy! Makes you wanna shake some Uncle Buck on your omelette for breakfast, doesn't it? Has anybody seen the Pepto Bismol?!

This process is known as anthropophagy (which is just a fancy word for "cannibalism!") and the Modern Man Eater company is pitching this line of garbage to unsuspecting strangers who are actually buying into this crap! Ignorance is bliss, but this is ridiculous!

Apparently, they've been doing this since 2003 and they say it's legal.

But look at this hat dance they make about the legality of their work:

"Well, lets put it this way: It is legal to have a dead body shipped anywhere in the world that you'd like. It is legal for us to do what we do in the country we do it in. Finally, the product we return to you is indistinguishable from similar agricultural or non-controled pharmaceautacal products, thus it is legal to be imported back to any country."

That would be a yes-no-maybe, in case you missed it! :)

Regarding the safety, they claim the vitamins made from the dead bodies are "of the same quality you find on the shelf of your local pharmacy." However, if the person who died was poisoned or had something like mad cow disease, they say they wouldn't recommend their service in those instances. Hey, they've got to have some sense of ethics, ya know!

Apparently, the Modern Man Eater service ain't cheap either since they are such small run productions and because every part of the machinery is thoroughly cleansed after each slaughte...er, I mean, use. No cross-contamination from one job to the next. Isn't that comforting?!

Whatever you do, just don't mention the "C word" around them because they think it's a touchy subject. Ya think?! They actually go so far as to defend Jeffrey Dahmer, the infamous cannibal killer from the 1990s, by claiming he would not have committed those horrible murders to all those innocent people he killed to eat if he had a "legal, safe way to satisfy his needs without having to harm a single living thing" such as the service offered by Modern Man Eater. Are you kidding me?!

Like any other business, they even have testimonials from actual satisfied customers. Let's see what some of them have to say about their Modern Man Eater experience:

"My bones were just plain getting eaten up by the osteo-porosis. But after eating all the calcium from my mother, I feel SO much better. My bones are strong again. I can feel my mother's spirit within them making me strong again, just like she did when she was alive"
-Ota Mae Wilson, NY

"My father was always strong as a bull. Both mentally and physically, he was a mountain of a man. Though I was no wuss myself, after taking his blood capsules, I have truly come into my own as family patriarch. Somehow, when things go badly now, I can look into myself and find the inner strength there I was lacking previously."
-Jim Johnson, Jackson, MS

"Ever since I was a little girl, I always knew I had a small gift. But, Halleluyah!, After we feasted on GrandMama's powdered, dried, protein conveniently mixed into a and tasty stew, I have inherited all her supernatural gifts and powers. I've gone from Acolyte to Priestess almost overnight!. Thank you Modern Man-Eater! Our family legacy is saved!"
-Laetitia Laveau, New Orleans, LA

"Our family traditions from many centuries had recently been abandoned due to changes in our legal system. Now we can return to the ways of our ancestors and not run afoul of the authorities. Thanks to MME."
-Umpepa Mi Mau, Paupua New Guinea

Oh...my...freakin'...goodness! Have we digressed as a civilized society THIS much that we now celebrate something as sinister and maniacal as eating the flesh and bones of a fellow human being? What kind of person are you to actually even consider something as asinine as this? It's incomprehensible to me and goes beyond any logical explanation in my mind. This has got to be the most bizarre thing I think I've ever heard of in my entire life.

So, the next time you're at a funeral, think about what it would be like to have a cupboard full of vitamins compliments of the dearly departed. That's a Halloween freak show I don't ever want to see for as long as I live! Somebody please wake me up from this nightmare because now I'm totally wigged out by it! 8-O

Casting A Low-Carb Spell On Halloween Candy

Double double, your diet's in trouble
Halloween candy can turn low-carb to rubble!
Boo! Hey, it's me, "Livin' La Vida Low-Carb" Man Jimmy Moore here and it's time for Halloween yet again in less than a week. This is the one time of the year when you get to see witches, ghosts, and goblins right next to Cinderella, angels, and Dora the Explorer alongside Spiderman, SpongeBob, and that freaky Scream character. Yikes!

But as scary as some of those Halloween costumes can be these days, there is an even scarier reason why people who are livin' la vida low-carb should be afraid, very afraid of the Halloween season -- C-A-N-D-Y!

Sugar, sugar everywhere, try to resist it if you dare! Ha ha ha!
Let me tell you, I know how hard it is to resist the urge to munch away at the overabundance of candy that is available to you this time of year. If you have been paying close attention over the past few weeks, then you've probably seen candy available in places that you never even thought about -- in your office at work, next to the bank teller, and even in your doctor's office. Calgon, take me away!

The prevalence and outright acceptance of sugar in our society is very disheartening to me. With the number of people who are either overweight or obese numbering two out of every three, when are we finally going to realize the intricate and damaging role this sweet little substance is doing to our bodies? Not only is it making us fatter and fatter, but it is also leading to a significant decline in the health of so many. Eeeek! Now THAT is scary!

The results of a recent survey on Halloween treats conducted by a survey company I participate in called NFO MySurvey.com (it's FREE to join and you get to participate in LOTS of fun surveys about products and services that haven't hit the market yet--CLICK HERE to learn more!) found that the "favorites" among adults when they were children and today still HEAVILY lean towards the sugary candies.

77% liked chocolate as a child and 70% do as an adult

46% liked bubble gum as a child and 28% do as an adult

42% liked sweet tart candy as a child and 32% do as an adult

42% liked taffy or caramel as a child and 33% do as an adult

37% liked candy corn as a child and 26% do as an adult

31% liked caramel apples as a child and 33% do as an adult

34% liked hard candies as a child and 29% do as an adult

21% liked caramel corn/popcorn as a child and 22% do as an adult

Those statistics are enough to make you sick, aren't they? Well, look at what brought up the rear in terms of favorite Halloween treats when the survey participants were kids compared to now that they are adults.

15% liked getting small toys compared to 5% as an adult

9% liked apples compared to 11% as an adult

5% liked trail mix or dried fruit compared to 17% as an adult

Interestingly, only 3% of the survey participants said NONE of these choices were appealing to them as kids and an even more shocking 4% said none of them would be appealing to them today. JUST FOUR PERCENT?!?!?! More than that preferred a small toy for a "treat" at Halloween?! What's wrong with our culture? ARGH! Is it any wonder Halloween makes the obesity problem worse?

Now before you go calling me a party pooper and rationalizing that eating Halloween candy is okay because you say it's all a part of the harmless fun of this season that everybody participates in, I can honestly tell you without any trepidation in my voice whatsoever that it is indeed possible to live your life without eating sugar. Gasp! Yep, there I said it. The cat's out of the bag now (was that a black cat?).

People who are new to livin' la vida low-carb may be shocked to learn that they should no longer be eating sugar as part of their healthy lifestyle change to low-carb living. However, if you are serious about wanting to lose weight and keep it off forever on low-carb, then you will need to learn this invaluable lesson for yourself. The benefits you will reap far outweigh the innate need and desire you think you have for sugar.

In fact, an incredible study was conducted in August 2005 by University of California Irvine psychologist Elizabeth Loftus who found that creating false memories in your mind about certain kinds of foods can actually cause your desire for those foods to wane.

As I discuss in the chapter of my Livin' La Vida Low-Carb book entitled "Sugar Is Rat Poison," one of the things that I consciously did when I first went on my low-carb plan was to thoroughly convince myself that eating sugar was tantamount to eating rat poison. Obviously I knew it wasn't REALLY rat poison, but just the thought of that has kept me safely away from putting ANYTHING with sugar up to my lips for nearly three years.

Let me tell you, though, temptation will have a way of rearing its ugly head at just the right time to test how strong your resistance will be. You'll have an office Halloween party with all kinds of desserts staring you smack dab in the face while they cry out to you, "Eat me, eat me."

Before you are faced with this scenario, I want your response to this situation to be planned ahead of time. What you need to do is cast a low-carb spell on Halloween candy by saying to it, "You are rat poison, rat poison! Get thee behind me!" Okay, maybe that's a little melodramatic! But you get the point. It IS possible to resist eating sugar if you can convince yourself of this surprisingly simple concept.

I know in my experience with not eating sugar any longer, I can actually put Halloween candy right in front of my face today to see how tempted I would be to eat it. While it can certainly look and smell good to me, I have absolutely NO desire to eat it at all. I don't know why or how this has happened, I just know it is not a point of weakness for me any longer.

Don't get me wrong, though. I still love my sweets, but now I get them without the sugar and instead use ones that have sugar substitutes in them. Read the labels of sugar-free and low-carb candies very carefully, though, and make sure you find the ones that are not too loaded with the stomach-upsetting sugar alcohols such as lactitol and the overused diarreah-causing maltitol (oh, and I noticed the candy companies are trying to hide the name "maltitol" in their ingredients now by calling it "isomalt" instead. Beware because this is the EXACT SAME THING! EEEK!). Better options for you are ones which are sweetened primarily with Splenda, erythritol, oligofructose, and acesulfame potassium (ACE-K).

See, getting through Halloween isn't as hard as you think it is if you remember why you started livin' la vida low-carb in the first place. No more giving in to things like candy corn, miniature candy bars, or hard candies that are just loaded with sugar just because it's Halloween. You need all of that like you need a hole in your head!

So be smart, stay alert, and start practicing on that low-carb spell you are going to put on Halloween candy next Tuesday. Say it with me now -- "sugar is rat poison, sugar is rat poison, (SAY IT!) sugar is rat poison!"

On Halloween I'll have some fun, but I'll quickly run from the rat poison!
Keep on livin' la vida low-carb and you'll come out of Halloween looking and feeling good! There's nothing scary about that!